Let's see what happened to the couples on the absolute worst season of this show yet.
Mushroom Dick and Larissa: Misogynistic schlub Colt doesn't know how to tie a damn tie and has his mother do it for him. Norman Bates asks that his mom walk him down the aisle. (I think for any other son, this would be incredibly sweet, but it's Colt so...) Colt goes behind his fiance's back to invite his MAGA cousin who repeatedly called her a bitch. Colt made Larissa pick a dress from Goodwill because he's fucking cheap loser, but Larissa looks beautiful. Colt remarks that she's managed to control herself (fuck you, dude!). Larissa has sufferedT for this green card. After an argument, Larissa gets arrested and charged with domestic battery. Also Mushroom Dick has been messaging women who definitely aren't his wife.
Mormon Momma Twice Over and Aseulu: Kalani has only told her mother and sister that she is pregnant again. She's hoping that the news doesn't drop to Father Kalani for fear that he'll stop the wedding. Like no one is happy on this wedding day, y'all. Kolini wanted to object but didn't. So theys married now!
Ashley and Jumpin' Jay the Philanderer: Jay returns home and uses some sad excuse that he wanted to flirt with women less than a week after he got married. I know that Ashley has been through a lot and my heart goes out to her, but it's hard to empathize with a grown woman who thought she could see a long term future with a 20 year old with questionable facial hair who she partied with on vacation. Jay refuses to leave Ashely's home and says he's going to try and fight for the relationship. Also what is with Friend Ashley's fashuns? Ashley channels her inner Dinyell and considers da annulment.
Sociopath Steven and Saint Olga: The devil has finally left Russia. That's about it, he promises to return and keep Olga updated on her visa process. Olga's K1 Visa was indeed approved.
The Rigor Mortis of Deadbeat Dads and The Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Leida: Eric's ex-wife gave an interview to reveal that Eric, Leida, Allessandro and Eric's 11-yr old daughter Jennica were supposed to spend the day at the water park as it was Eric's week to care for Jennica. These assholes then told Jennica that they had to cancel the trip. Well cancel the trip for Jennica as the couple and Alless went to the water park without her. That little girl will never, ever forget that you piece of shit! Leida and her crusty lips get made over. You can watch the interview here. Eric for some reason has high hopes that his daughters will show up to his wedding. Eric forgets his pants because of course he does. Leida's dress is hideous. Jennica is his only daughter that shows up and she's wearing white!!!!! We love a shady queen in training. Eric and Leida filed a police report against Tasha for harassment. This couple deserves the worst and I hope Leida's dreams of a medical career never come true.
Fernanda and The Pervert: I kinda forgot about them. These two get married in Chicago because that's where most of The Pervert's family still lives. Unfortunately Fernanda's mom cannot make it to the wedding and fortunately Jonathan's mom cannot either. Fernanda wears a super cute, simple dress and saves the more extravagant dress for the ceremony in Mexico. Also shout out to production who kept zooming in on Fer's dried lash glue.
This episode has been brought to you by an Airbnb with no condoms in sight.
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